Will Work For Booze

One great way to get your hands on a bottle when you’ve got no funds is to do an odd job for a friend or relative.  Why not just work for cash? you may wonder.  Well first off, this way will save you some time.  It completely eliminates having to go to the liquor store and pick something out, which can take far too long when you’re in need of a drink.  You do the job, you get the booze.  Instant gratification.  Secondly, and I think more importantly, you are not faced with the conundrum of what to do with the money.  Sure you’re probably going to spend it on hooch anyway, this way you don’t have to feel guilty about not putting it towards your car payment or any of those other silly things you should be paying.  But are there really people out there willing to pay in booze?  That there are my friend! One of my aunts is a teacher and needed some tests graded a while back.  She asked me if I’d handle it for her in exchange  for some liquor and I gladly obliged.  It was a bit tedious and took a good hour out of my day, but when she handed me that 1.5 L bottle of Tanqueray it was totally worth it.  I’ve been sipping on gin and tonics for weeks! Another of my aunts wanted her son to apply to college, but the lazy bastard couldn’t do it on his own.  So I filled out the online apps for my cousin–a lot of  checking of boxes and entering of grades–and my aunt presented me with BevMo giftcard.  If, unfortunately, you don’t have booze-fairy aunts like I do, there are other sources.  Maybe you’ve got a sister in school who has been dreading writing that paper for her english class, or your neighbor is in desperate need of a car wash.  You’d be surprised at what silly tasks people would gladly pawn off on you in exchange for a measly bottle.  We are in December you know, and while everyone would love to have a festive house, not everyone has the time or ability to put up holiday lights.  Offer your services.  And do it soon, before you start shaking so badly that you can’t even help yourself ya damn drunk!